Where has this past "school year" gone?
Why are my freshman year memories not what I expected them to be..
Granted I made new friends and got closer to a few?
For some reason I expected this year to change everything, but maybe this summer will change everything..


“All we need is the truth in our hand. Someone to call a friend. Never fear the darkness. All we need is just the sun in the sky. And the hope of a summer to come with the meaning of love.”
- Anonymous

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I stopped running. I fell out of shape. I know I did it for the right reasons.. But why do I feel guilty? My heart and soul is into dancing. Running in cross country didn't give me that on-top-of-the-world feeling I was searching for. Is the the "sociality" that I miss? I didn't really have much of a cross country family, but I know that it changed me. Somehow, I think I became more outspoken from it. Deep down, I think I just "liked" the whole idea and moral of the sport.

Well at least I know that nothing can measure up to dancing, for me. I always did it when no one was watching, but now I can do it when someone really cares and will somehow connect with me. I think someone already has.. :)

I qualified to do the Dance 1/Dance Chor May Show.

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I realized that I am a total and complete moron.
Or maybe it was a phase..

Well let me explain. As my blog, So Close.. Yet So Far, said, I was becoming distant. I was creating space between me and the rest of the world.
I was still there.. And I spoke to people.. But I just didn't enjoy it. I wanted to hide myself.
But I just realized that WHY SHOULD I IGNORE/HIDE FROM/AND NOT TALK TO THE PEOPLE I LIKE FOR THE PEOPLE I DISLIKE???

It didn't make sense...


Hahah in math today, I got sooooo annoyed beacause everyone was, jokingly, calling me a cheater.. But I didn't feel well (bad stomach) so I said "SHUT UP."
Everyone silenced instantly.. hahha even the teacher was a little startled..
Normally.. I don't say stuff like that..
HAHAH My friend said that I said it SHARPLY..

It's good to be back to my normalish self :)

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I wrote this sound poem for my English class. Do you like it?

Clank, Clank, Clank,
She moves quickly as her arms go in circles.

Rub, Rub, Rub,
The rubber of the wheels mark the floor
with little black marks.

Swish, Swish, Swish,
Look at her go.

Clap, Clap, Clap,
Congrats!
Everyone praises the little girl in the little wheelchair.

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Logically..
People seem so far away..
Yet.. When you think about, they are in the same universe, same planet, same continent, same country, same state, same city.. they go to the same places as we do..
but why..
does everyone feel so distant?

I feel distant from everybody. Somehow I feel that whatever I say and they say don't connect.
We are speaking the same language? Aren't we?

maybe..just maybe.. I don't belong...

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I have my "crush's" myspace, and I was looking at his pictures. I saw one that just so intriguing that I picked up a nearby pencil and started to sketch him on my laptop.
Literally. I drew his eye on the keyboard. I looked at his picture and my lines started to flow. I have never drawn anything!! I just felt this odd connection to him when I drew his eye. :)
but.. I had to erase it, since was on my computer...

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